explodingdog

01.09.00-12.19.00

11.10.00
my pen is leaking

I'd explain it to you, but there's a lot of math involved.

i finally got across

theres nothing wrong with me, i have a fish

11.09.00
I fear that we have lost that special spark

why are we here?

It could only go downhill from here.

meet the tv

11.08.00
we can dance together

I'll swallow your soul

which way is up?

11.07.00
danger? Danger is my middle name

it will lead to hell

if you are happy and you know it clap your hands

11.06.00
my computer made me dizzy

I'm not sure this is healthy . . .

i just want a hug

11.02.00
where did "simple things" go?

you'll thank me for this later

Trapped by Air

10.31.00
whats this rock doing in my shoe?

Come waste your time with me...

i just wanted to hear you say "i love you"

10.30.00
I wish you knew what I meant to say.

its not like it should be

10.26.00
the stick people of now

My computer is my tutor and my name is Roger Johnson

10.25.00
it was free so i took it

sometimes i think my intelligence is a curse

i wish i were a rock

10.24.00
all i had was ice cream

understanding wildlife

10.16.00
Is there any unhashed drama between us?

when did I lose you?

10.13.00
where did you get that? it looks dangerous.

we were never alone

10.11.00
time will tell...

something makes sunday morning awful

10.09.00
i'm sad for two reasons. you're there. i'm here.

I like pie

I'd do that... If I was a robot

10.04.00
i am afraid of the dark

you will never get to know

10.03.00
these are my cookies

does being alive scare you?

i am going to change the world

09.29.00
it was full of love

i did not know how to help

things i didn't know

09.28.00
I read books

after you give your heart away

09.27.00
stop

Hey man, fish are Crazy!

09.20.00
you can't be serious

i don't want to go

cleaning is fun

your drawings suck

09.19.00
i got fun

it does not mean you have to give up

If you live in New York City, or have lived in New York City, then you can understand the bloody rain here

09.17.00
it could have been worse

i was never as good as you

09.14.00
you should not have come out with me

it won't leave me alone

what explosion?

09.12.00
stupid cookies

i am a superhero

08.15.00
god is not here

This flower is dead.

new media - new arse

08.14.00
What does my soul taste like?

i never realized that could be done

i was a secret place

i am writing to tell you it no longer works

08.11.00
cheer up

unfortunately we had to share

suddenly every thing was different

08.09.00
my balloon

i did not say i was excited

08.08.00
it is just a puddle

Wish for something else...

eat my dust

i am safe

08.07.00
It's not that you're boring, you're just not interesting

amazing chair

08.04.00

i didn't want to be special, i just wanted to be myself

math is fun

i love you, i love you, i love you

god's wish came true

07.27.00
i thought you loved me

I eat them by the handful

07.26.00
today i am going to learn to fly

It looks like rain

this is going to hurt me more than it is going to hurt you

07.25.00
Why are you nicer to me when you're drunk?

it wasnt that big in the catalog

make some cats

quit staring at me

07.21.00
Cars couldn't hurt us

i draw the same people over and over again

07.20.00
trust me

it was easier to tell her to go away

ARE YOU FOR REAL?

why

07.18.00
there's a nail in my foot

I'm so tired of looking for bugs

must be lemonade

07.17.00
thats disgusting

you shouldn't get that close to me

I should have wished for more wishes

Toast

it happens when its cold outside

07.14.00
you shouldn't have drank that.

do you know how this works?

I never had a doorway

stop, that tickles

out to sea

07.13.00
i took a bath and came back dirtier

In the morning things will be better

Jeg Savner Deg (i miss you)

07.11.00
people are dumb.

only since you came home

It hurts when I move my arm like this.

we are all so very lovely

Sometimes I wish I had a screwdriver.

07.10.00
When will it come down?

Telephone wire?

Carpet fuzz. It made me what I am today.

It's the little things in life that make me happy.

it means i love you.

07.05.00
Today we found out why.

box of rocks

i can finally reach my toes

I just don't know...

06.30.00
we found out on our own

summer sux

06.29.00
Jimmy, you've been in there almost three hours

better than being lost in the city

my tummy is rumbling

like my pink underwear?

he's drinking the water

06.28.00
I love cake!

it's not that we're opposed to pornography!

The future's so bright, I gotta eat brains.

god's gift

06.26.00
Last time I did this, it really hurt

Many strange people work at my company

I like your hair

Where are my keys?

And then the boat came and we were saved. Well, we were almost saved. Jimmy ate the boat before we could leave. Then we sank. And well, that's why we're here.

why is it so green

06.22.00
i wanted to sit down

Nothing says love better.

i can make him love me

And what is this button for?

06.21.00
did you hurt your head?

why didn't you make one for me and laura?

the big apple is lovely

Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy submarines

he was angry

some things are really good

06.20.00
I just found another use for water!

So, now what do we do?

although i am not feeling well, i still want to bathe in milk and honey.

I wonder how big this gets...

The boss gives him hell when he's mad

SO THIS IS THE END, HUH?

its all a matter of motivation

how to keep a long distance relationship

06.19.00
many are frozen

Toast goes in the toaster

I have a banana in my ear

06.16.00
i can't get no sleep

my wife's out of town

we all have needs

The backreference \n, where n is a single digit, matches the substring previously matched by the nth parenthesized subexpression of the regular expression.

peter and the copy machine

06.14.00
don't worry, little one, this will only hurt for a second

I heard I could find God here

It's all about how you feel inside

i'm not really here

06.13.00
sometimes I think about forever

You are my fire

dead people can't use phones

so, you're the reason for all this craziness

We almost never destroy anything smaller than an atom.

06.12.00
God was a Grapefruit...

I hate it when it rains!

Hey, you got one too!

i've had nightmares about this

keep this one a secret bob

Is that how they make vampires?

06.09.00
Oops, I did it again!

find a new form of life

huffing the whipped cream at work is fun

Aj, inte där Sixten...

...And ever since then, she's had my heart in her hands.

he couldn't quite put his finger on it

06.08.00
Don't even ask!

do not worry it's only my blood

I saw mom and dad last night

its my first time... i'm nervous...

06.07.00
I should have bought that new TV

What's in your shoes?

it`s crooked dear

he fell asleep in my car

06.06.00
if only i had died sooner.

What else do you expect me to do with a stapler?

spoon you|spoon me

Micah could go into labor at any second!

make sarah smile

I want to suck your blood

06.05.00
Oh no, it's stuck in the elevator door.

i hate monsters

give me something to cry about

suddenly, we were both silent.

it was so big i didnt see it

i opened my heart and there she was

there's not enough for you

06.01.00
what the hell is floating in my coffee

i want to be a romantic failure

my cookie fell

Oh, shit! i cant beleive it fell off.

05.31.00
it all started when someone left the window open

"It's not a bug - it's a feature."

I listen to records all night long

hold it against me

you just don't get it

05.30.00
i like things too

its not cool steve

Wow, I wish this picture had a point.

part of me died yesturday

Lets use bad logic and drink motor oil

05.29.00
i found god in myself

Coffee is good.

why my balls are so big.

Jessica thwarts my attempts at self sufficiency

i can't find a sharp peice of glass

is this love? that i'm feeling?

05.26.00
i wish i was home

A Painter's Guide To Drowning

it is all about love

05.25.00
no right turn

Watch out, it bites

She fell asleep just at the good part

i wish i didnt put my girlfriend on fire

time flows much more slowly this way

05.23.00
Dont trust vampires they are known to lie.

Do mad scientist feel pain ?

i am uncomfortable in this relationship

i wish i had money

05.22.00
Hey, that's my book

are those real?

soup is good food

i decided it was best to leave

05.19.00
save the children

I sit next to the guy who writes computer programs all day.

Anger without enthusiasm

what? i can't hear you?

how do I talk to her

try it now

Try some of your own medicine

05.18.00
do you think i could squeeze in?

she said i didn't make her happy anymore

So I was thinking of slitting my wrists the other day...

who needs legs?

poopey is good for food

giving out your phone number to random guys while were on a date is fairly uncool.

05.17.00
who invented roses?

she don't care no more

i got drunk to waited

i have to stop doing that.

...but the packet said for thirty minutes...

Lets never put that on your head again.

05.16.00
I write computer programs all day

why did you wait so long?

Die Stupid

to forget is the sweetest joy one cannot remember

friendship is love without wings, so say the french

spitting image

i love you today

05.15.00
you can't hurt me i am invunerable

william! Stop eating your little sister

Falling down the stairs to save time

But will she do me?

if i ever find my way off this strange planet

I'm afraid the entrance requirements aren't what they were.

05.11.00
sex is a brain thing

Whenever He was in town, they knew it would all start again

who took my pictures of me? you did.

just what the fuck d'you think you're doing?

Oh, was that your heart. I appologize.

05.10.00
why do all the pretty girls keep breaking in half?

does she swallow?

Do you like liquid?

i wanted to change

why do you keep cutting off my arm

05.09.00
we are not afraid

supper was super

no, i don't know, either

our flowers

05.08.00
This is how I make them stop talking

dead giveaway

how are they doing that?

the only way out is to go so far in

Dating Co Workers is fun! Tasty too.

05.05.00
about my shoe

he hurt his leg

i look alive but i'm dying inside

what happens when you flush the toilet?

Back when I was younger...

05.04.00
My life as a potato

i made him explode

Human beings were created by water to transport it uphill.

separate together

he likes what you did

i don't think mom likes me anymore,now that she's got her new dishwasher

05.03.00
Music For Pleasure

Can't she just see the panda?

i wanna be sedated

i have candy

abandoners that abandon

05.02.00
I FEEL NAKED WITHOUT MY WATCH

the girl in my bed hates me

a sandwich just isn't a sandwich

05.01.00
happy birthday

where's louie?

If you don't talk to her, you can't sleep with her.

you guys keep me holdin on

march and april 2000 do you like my baby?

apples

a boy and his cat

is sunday 4 am and I'm drunk

it is bad

Why do I try and dismantle a girl that was never assembled in the first place

i drew something for you

You really should try this, it's wonderful for your back.

the benefits of living in a mostly gay navy submarine

it's been sixteen years...

i've got food in my bottom

i just wanted to cut my nails

"Don't piss on my head and then tell me it's raining gold!"

It is determined by a complicated point system that will measure loss, pain and suffering, and takes three to six months to calculate.

what's the capital of prussia?

just give me somethin' pink

schoolgirl blues

No, I have not been huffing gasoline.

somebody call an ambience!

wrong idea

fingers to fingers

feeling a little convertable

drinking fountain

I don't know... I plugged a many of women at Mardi Gras... I don't know...

"Is insanity just a really great way of managing expectations? "

02.26.00
epoch eclipse

"How'd you like to see my new watch?"

"Anyone want to see my balls?"

melancholy, baby.

" You need to Shower after you do that"

I hate when the soap gets this small.

The monkey is having a bad day.

Push this button in case anything happens.

02.25.00
What's that smell?

It was just a wallet,he said. I said, Where's the fucking gun?

can i just get in there a second? If you're not going to eat that, I will!

"monkeys in rocket cars juggling tangelos"

Human Resources Development, Inc.

He whirls his glock and spiel around to the ladies like a dirty, run-away hose that's been stuck in the mud at a trailer park

"I just can't take you seriously...please return my biscuits"

cops do cavity searches? then why the hell have i been going to the dentist?

02.24.00
Ha Ha you one funny chick!

"We are glad you were born."

Apocalips

"Suddenly Kermit realized what the library was REALLY for."

That's like Dancing to architecture

I just don't understand my computer and my computer doesn't understand me

what's the difference between an orange

02.23.00
Tickle my Psyche.

I found some negus on my shoe

The monkeys ate my bus pass

Talking is sexy, Talking while fucking is sexier

and then Milt Schumar built a castle in the sand

"You surely deserve the name 'Beefalow Queen

02.22.00
Its like I always say, "If the shit don't fit, make it fit."

"Ms. Ada Barry, meet the Surcharge Board of Appeals of the Division of Insurance"

you're full of water

do you mind if i sit on your glass eye?

"Forget France. The French can be annoying. Come to Greece. We're nicer."

send down the rope i can't hold it any longer

not right but wrong in a good way

Whatever happened to a girlfriend? The kind of chick who makes love 'cuz she's in it?"

02.20.00
What will roadrunner Ralph do upon his retirement?

Even too much wine is not enough.

Finally, when I least expected it, the Ex-Lax kicked in!

"my eyebrow is eating my face"?

best chair i ever had was the chair i had in 'nam.

IT'S THE MARCH OF THE GAY PARADE

My friend if we pull this off, our cookie will become a death cookie for anyone who opposes our holy work.

Six Characters in Search of an Author

"Harvard's team may fight 'til the end but Yale will win."

I got my pez disensor a new head!

Make Me a Home

Wonder twin powers activate, form of...

02.16.00
"And no one saw the thief."

caitlin shut the hell up!

"MOM, when did you get home?"

we like bad handling

these germs are the best

we need everything

i couldn't find her heart

02.15.00
hey boy, did you get me my cheese wiz?

the dead don't die.

i would smile........if only my tooth wasn't such a bloody mess.

i like to light firecrackers in my mouth and then spit them out right before they blow up.

some mushrooms approach.

Is that a rancid piece of meat in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

02.14.00
I sent a spider out to look for cookies

HORSE COCK DEMANDS SATISFACTION!!!!

"Is that your final answer?"

everyone cover their ears

"...and i thought they smelled bad on the outside"

never was a cornflake girl

"Did you hear about the cannibal who passed his brother in the jungle?"

but is it non-dairy?

we really need some new pillows around here.

02.12.00
nicotine changed my life

i know this boy. he has anti-matter for a voice.

last night i dreamt i peed on your socks

"It's too painful to smile"

"A one-way road that ends in disaster"

"Am I hallucinating or is that Bob Hope doing a triple axle?"

Shit, dem’s good varmints.

Silky, K-Money and Alien become video game tycoons.

"No. His head was there last time I saw him."

She never really liked my strombollie

ice webs

02.09.00
bankshot joe

"Please excuse the interruption."

"why has everything been taken away from me?"

the human parts are not compatible with ours. plus, they're not very durable.

the news says it raining in New York

"It sure is convenient that you're flexible"

"What should I do today.....work in a homeless shelter, or have some beer and potato chips?"

02.08.00
ahhh! I Lost my tampax!!

we are scientists.

Can someone please tell me why I must read "The Wealth and Poverty of Nations?"

she'll never figure it out.

"the curly haired coffee goddess"

we like the boys with the bulletproof vests.

02.07.00
I am not comfortable, anywhere.

I can't find any insomniacs

candy is delicious

Rule Britannia, britannia rules the waves!

when will the torment be over?!

fudge melon pack

nicotine and gravy. [her left eye is lazy]

"gimmie now, please"

I couldn't help but wonder why that strange little man was scratching my left butt cheek?

02.05.00
monkey

whatshape am i today

02.04.00
The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy monkey.

"So, this guy walks into a bar..."

My company just layed me off but they gave me a coupon for all the shrimp I can eat !

02.03.00
you be the active ingredient and i'll be the inert material

don't draw the red robot

I can't go. The pig's stuck again.

Angela Sung stole my beagle with a giant cross dressing robot !

i had a turtle named rover. he died.

uterheart

shortcut to my ass

02.02.00
i met him at a rave

Damn These Lines

i'd like someone to care whether i come home or not

it only hurts when you look at it

Look at me in my clamdiggers!

mmm... skyscraper, i love you

Stupid people are very annoying.

My professor is secretly a bug

Virginia is the source of all evil

02.01.00
my left leg is not getting enough blood

don't eat that

My monster walked in on me in the shower

"sometimes i think i need b52"

"when i get this way, i need your eyes to guide me through"

hell hath no fury like a woman scorned

i am a robot. i eat hair. hair makes me be a robot

01.31.00
born in a coal mine

the world is covered with snail slime

A Toad Does Not Run at Noonday for Nothing

ouch my pussy

I think i'm getting fat. I think I like it.

01.30.00
because it feels real

we love corporations, don't we?

A kamikaze attack from the rabbit hutch

i'm thinkin' in my mind

So, you remember Patrick Swayze accurately

my pet mouse ran away and my doctor found him up my butt

01.29.00
After three weeks with no vacuuming, the dust kitties attacked!

Hello, My name is Collin

I like my men brown.

cats, dogs, and a mayonaise jar

i wish my pubic hair wasn't so out of control

Lusty Bob Strikes Again.

Have you had a shocker lately?

01.28.00
eight out of ten women

too spent to make a wish

paddle me a river

eating eating

i got the critical algorhythm

have you worked your mojo?

have you found the demon key?

...if You only knew the things I did while You were taking a nap...

one down and a hundred to go

you got a rip in your couch

MY HAMSTER USED TO LOVE ME, BUT SHE DIED.

01.27.00
jesus, we're all on speed!

twentyfourseven

my tears froze

we shared the chips

-just remember you're unique... like everyone else.

01.26.00
i'd itch my scratch but i'd be embarrassed

four miles wide

ooooooh a small little trincket!!! mine all mine

falling from the great blue sky

you wouldn't talk to me like that if i was "El Presidente!"

01.25.00
sex on the city

men without shirts

no subject

01.24.00
men and their babies

every time i eat vegetables, it makes me think of you

it's getting to be that there ain't no reason to pay for sex no more

01.23.00
oh you are a big one aren't you

when i wear my helmet, the macaroni tastes better

tango daughter

getting macho in the basement with my barbies

01.21.00
Poop on you all,you evil doers!!DIE!!

daddy, why do monkeys throw their shit?

01.20.00
I miss you, Now I gotta kiss you

Roasting weenies over that campfire in the sky

It's good, clean fun for good, clean children.

ok, stop. this isn't my life!

Horses having sex!

monkeys have tails

how are your things doing?

the airlock trapped my robot

01.18.00
making love to a vampire with a monkey on my knee

it's hard, when you don't feel like you should

01.17.00
"I told the bitch, 'Stop picking at that!' Then I smacked her."

I just want you, only you!!

01.16.00
i want everything
STOP IT !! OH FUCKING STOP IT !!!

Poop from outerspace!!

He's going to destroy anybody who gets in his way

01.15.00
I can't, my wrists hurt

i traded my soul to a girl for boardwalk in a game of monopoly

a wonton diner on every table

will i ever love again?

01.14.00
no not my leg

he said he was an adult, but I knew better

i blacked out at 106 dover street

7 donuts around my waist

01.13.00
was it love?

sometimes we wait to long and nothing happens

this is not what i expected

i step through space

there's a need

i bet i say that to all the girls

honk the donkey

i'm a DJ.

Sexy looking dogs!

random people get me down

01.12.00
thats this much

but Billy, the tanks

Fold My Laundry Neatly

i did it because i needed the money

eatten mellon

01.11.00
unless there is something else

i can't shoot my job

toast from a toaster

sometimes it takes a long time

01.10.00
sometimes my computer moans

hi i am phil

i eat you

the sun

ugly shirt

i eat food